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Funny valentine stories you will love

Posted on 12 January 2014 by Satyendra Mishra

The only excellent time for love to hurt is while it is humorous enough to tear your sides. Make your darling chuckle this Valentine’s with these amusing Valentine’s Day stories.


Perfect Puns

While Valentine’s Day approached, I attempted to dream up an extraordinary present for my partner. When I found out that his favorite red-plaid denims had a busted zipper, I thought I had the “ideal Valentine.” I had the denims patched up, and gift-wrapped them. On the parcel I placed a big red heart on which I made: “My Heart Pants for you.” I was the astounded one, nevertheless, after I saw the same heart strapped to our previously empty, however now flooding the wooden box. On it he had printed: “Wood You Be My Valentine?”

Check Out Romance

I met my partner whilst I was employed in a science library. He came in each week to read the most recent journals and ultimately choose to fish out the librarian in place of the books. Following a year and a half of dating, he turned up at the library and began poking around my desk. I inquired what he was in search of, however, he did not respond. In conclusion he uncovered one of the rubber stamps I utilized to recognize reference books. “Because I could not get the correct engagement ring,” he held, “this should do,” and he determinedly marked my hand. Across my knuckles, it read “NOT FOR CIRCULATION.”

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High-tech Romance

My boyfriend Hans and I met on the internet and we had been dating for more than a year. I introduced Hans to my uncle, who was enthralled by the reality that we met online. He solicited Hans what sort of line he had employed to pick me up. Ever the nerd, Hans honestly replied, “I just utilized a normal 56K modem.”

Sexy Nightgown

The lingerie shop where my aunt works was packed with customers choosing Valentine’s Day presents for their wives. A youthful entrepreneur came with a lacy black dressing gown. My aunt noted that the next client, an old farmer, was grasping an extensive flannel nightdress and kept looking at the younger man’s sexier option. Once it was his turn, the grower put the nightdress on the counter top. “Would you have something with black flannel?” He inquired.

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9-5 Love

My spouse, a certified public accountant, worked for 15-hours per day for the initial few months of the year. Regardless of his chaotic timetable, he took a break to order me flowers for Valentine’s Day. Whilst thinking about what sweet, kind word to inscribe on the card, he evidently started thinking of the countless hours of work still in front of him. His note read: “Roses are red, violets are blue. If I were not thinking of you, I would most likely be through.”

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More Than a Greeting Card

My buddy Mark and I work in a lawn-mower-parts store. In some way Mark got the thought that his wife did not wish for a card on Valentine’s Day, however, after he talked to her on the telephone he found out she was anticipating one. Not having time to acquire a card on his ride home, Mark was in a dilemma. After that he saw the lawn-mower trade publications spread out in the office — and got a plan. Using glue and scissors, he made a card with photos of mowers, beside which he wrote: “I lawn for you mower and mower every day.” Mark’s partner loved it. The card instantly charmed their refrigerator door.

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Funny valentine quotes and jokes

Posted on 10 January 2014 by Satyendra Mishra

Couples that share a sense of humor, live together longer. Comedy is the answer to an evergreen connection. If you would like to win your partner’s heart, employ humor. With a dart of love and humor, make your day extraordinary with these funny Valentine’s Day quotes and jokes.

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Helen Rowland

A bride at her second wedding ceremony does not put on a veil. She desires to make out what she is in receipt of.

Mickey Rooney

Get wedded early in the morning. So, if it does not work out, you will not have exhausted an entire day.

Rita Rudner

I adore being married. It is so good to get one special someone you would like to irritate forever.

Tracy Smith

I desired to make it truly extraordinary on Valentine’s Day; hence I tied my boyfriend up. And for three full hours I watched anything I fancied on TV.

Francis Bacon

It is not possible to love and be intelligent.

Ally McBeal

It is hilarious how we set conditions for the ideal person to love, while we recognize at the back of our heads the individual whom we really love will at all times be an exception.

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Love has the influence of making you accept as true what you would generally treat with the deepest distrust.


Love is a serious mental syndrome.

Hoosier Farmer

Love is the fad that allows a woman to sing whilst she mops up the flooring after her spouse has stepped on it with his shed boots.

Rita Rudner

My boyfriend and I parted ways. He intended to get married and I did not desire him to.

Phyllis Diller

Never sleep while mad — remain up and fight.

Joyce Brothers

Regardless of how love sick a lady is, she should not get the first tablet that comes along.

Oscar Wilde

One ought to at all times be in love. That is the explanation one ought to never marry.

Margaret Atwood

The Eskimos have 52 words for snow since it is so exceptional to them; there should be as many for love.

Ann Landers

The poor desire to be rich, the rich hope to be blissful, the single desire to be wedded, and the married desire to be dead.

Yiddish Proverb

Three things cannot be concealed: poverty, coughing, and love.

H. L. Mencken

To be in love is just to be in a condition of perceptual anesthesia.

Jay Leno

Today is Valentine’s Day. Or, like men like to term it, Extortion day.

Erich Segal

True love comes silently, with no flashing lights or banners. If you take notice of bells, get your ears tested.


Valentine’s Day is when many wedded men are reminded what a meager shot Cupid actually is.


Mae West

Women with pasts fascinate men. They wish history will replicate itself.

Cameron Diaz

I would kiss a frog even though there was no guarantee of a Prince Charming coming out of it. I adore frogs.

Valentine’s Day is a man’s approach of letting his partner to recognize how much he values her tolerating him throughout football period.

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