Funny valentine quotes and jokes

Posted on 10 January 2014 by Satyendra Mishra

Couples that share a sense of humor, live together longer. Comedy is the answer to an evergreen connection. If you would like to win your partner’s heart, employ humor. With a dart of love and humor, make your day extraordinary with these funny Valentine’s Day quotes and jokes.

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Helen Rowland

A bride at her second wedding ceremony does not put on a veil. She desires to make out what she is in receipt of.

Mickey Rooney

Get wedded early in the morning. So, if it does not work out, you will not have exhausted an entire day.

Rita Rudner

I adore being married. It is so good to get one special someone you would like to irritate forever.

Tracy Smith

I desired to make it truly extraordinary on Valentine’s Day; hence I tied my boyfriend up. And for three full hours I watched anything I fancied on TV.

Francis Bacon

It is not possible to love and be intelligent.

Ally McBeal

It is hilarious how we set conditions for the ideal person to love, while we recognize at the back of our heads the individual whom we really love will at all times be an exception.

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Love has the influence of making you accept as true what you would generally treat with the deepest distrust.


Love is a serious mental syndrome.

Hoosier Farmer

Love is the fad that allows a woman to sing whilst she mops up the flooring after her spouse has stepped on it with his shed boots.

Rita Rudner

My boyfriend and I parted ways. He intended to get married and I did not desire him to.

Phyllis Diller

Never sleep while mad — remain up and fight.

Joyce Brothers

Regardless of how love sick a lady is, she should not get the first tablet that comes along.

Oscar Wilde

One ought to at all times be in love. That is the explanation one ought to never marry.

Margaret Atwood

The Eskimos have 52 words for snow since it is so exceptional to them; there should be as many for love.

Ann Landers

The poor desire to be rich, the rich hope to be blissful, the single desire to be wedded, and the married desire to be dead.

Yiddish Proverb

Three things cannot be concealed: poverty, coughing, and love.

H. L. Mencken

To be in love is just to be in a condition of perceptual anesthesia.

Jay Leno

Today is Valentine’s Day. Or, like men like to term it, Extortion day.

Erich Segal

True love comes silently, with no flashing lights or banners. If you take notice of bells, get your ears tested.


Valentine’s Day is when many wedded men are reminded what a meager shot Cupid actually is.


Mae West

Women with pasts fascinate men. They wish history will replicate itself.

Cameron Diaz

I would kiss a frog even though there was no guarantee of a Prince Charming coming out of it. I adore frogs.

Valentine’s Day is a man’s approach of letting his partner to recognize how much he values her tolerating him throughout football period.